Happy Friday!!

Here is how Millie and I spent our lunch break -

Round Two!!!

I submitted Millie to be in a National Geographic special being filmed here in the Bay Area. Something on domestication of pets. Anyway, we made it to round two! So fingers crossed we make it to round 3!!!!!

Welcome Back!!

Today, I was on the phone with Laurie and she said welcome back. I said from where? And she mentioned how I had been absent from chats, I hadn't been texting or calling her, etc. and she is right. I had really withdrawn from my friends. This whole business with the condo, I referred to this a couple blogs ago, is really getting me down. I am attending a lecture this evening on Mindful Stress, being taught by my friend Julie. One of the things she talks about is "creep". Where stress doesn't just slam you with one big stress-y thing, but rather wheree many stressful things creep up on you and the need to recognize the accumulation of this stress.

My stresses -
the condo
the move
the weight
the money

She also talks alot on the need to breathe. I don't do mindful breathing, but I will. I also need to take more walks. I have begun taking walks at lunch along the bay. It amazes me how it sets me up for the afternoon. Instead of being all yawny and whatnot, I won't say I am energized, but I am definitely more focused.

I hope I can use what she teaches me to put me back in a better mind set. Even though I say I have made my peace with losing the condo, clearly I have not. And I need to. I can't change it, I can only survive the process and move on with my life.

This weekend I _______________________________

Totally stolen from Booyah....

This weekend I made fabulous cards with Elizabeth. I would post pictures, but I have none and I can't remember what they looked like. I had a fab time with the OTHER Annmarie, she spells her name all wrong, but she is a doll nonetheless.

Saturday morning, I got up and was off to the beach with Miss Millie for an awesome morning hike. I am also reveling in my new Body Bugg. I had been thinking about buying one for a couple years after seeing it on the Biggest Loser. Well, since I have been trying to lose the same 20 pounds for 20 years now, I decided to step up my A game and see what the Bugg could do for me. It's awesome! It tells you, based on fancy pants science, how many calories you burn no matter what you are doing. Then you enter in your food and it tells you how many calories you consume and what your calorie deficit is. (3500 calories = 1 pound). My goal is to lose the 20 pounds by Christmas, which I think is more than reasonable.

The purchase of the Bugg made me realize, I really need to get off the couch too. I broke up with my gym, Curves a couple weeks ago. I realized it just wasn't doing it for me anymore and I joined 24 Hour Fitness. I have 3 close by. I went to 24 Club #1, but it was small and crowded, so I don't think that we are going to have any sort of committed relationship. Tonight, I am headed to 24 #2. It's a Sport club, so it's bigger and has a pool. I like the idea of having a pool, but we'll see. Bally's had a pool, but it was not a pool I would ever swim in.

Oh, I was supposed to be talking about my weekend.

It rained Sunday.

The end.

Things that suck and things that are awesome.

Things that suck. I am losing my condo. I have shed more than my fair share of tears over this. When I bought this condo, I had a vision for it. The first year, I would replace all the blinds, the second year, new flooring throughout. The third year I would redo my bathroom and the big culmination would be the fourth year and would be a kitchen redo, complete with new cabinets. Yet, here I sit, year 4, with the sale documents in front of me and a hole in my heart. It's not even my fault. I bought a condo I could afford in a neighborhood far FAR from work because that's what I could afford. What I couldn't know, what no one could know, was how bad the market would plunge after I bought it. I bought for 300k. My condo is now on the market for 128k. I hope someone can see in it what I saw and love it like I did. I hope the short sale goes through and BoA allows it. I don't want this to drag on for a year, I want to get over this and move on.

Things that don't suck. My friends, my family, and my little dog, Millie. Everywhere I live, I have had friends, and of course my online friends are with me always, but somehow, here in SF, I have Friends. Friends who would do anything for me, true friends, real friends. I got a text message from my friend Jacie yesterday, somehow she thought I was moving this weekend and wanted to know what I needed, did I need help packing, did I need her to take Millie for me so I could get moved. My friend Kristin has somehow become my life coach and personal trainer. My friend Susan is my cheerleader, my dating coach, and my shoulder to cry on. I know none of them read my blog since I don't advertise it, but there is my shout out to them. Thanks guys.

And because she is the center of my universe -

So, there I was....

in San Francisco...
Ok, I live here, but still, I do love this view -


My friend Jody flew up from LA to birthday with me. I have to say too, if birthdays set the tone for the year, this year is going to be awesome. My friend Michelle was in town and joined me for my office birthday lunch, my employees bought me a delicious cake and a lovely card, then we topped it all off with sight seeing in the big city. *happy sigh* Awesomeness.

Also, I bought a new, fancy pants camera. It's not an SLR, but it is a bridge camera, so hopefully I can start learning more about picture taking. Expect more pics.

Like this one.

Wow, midMarch already...

I have been in a funk. A big, ol' fat funk. I am fat. Yesterday, a friend of mine who is a big girl, referred to the two of us as big girls. That took me aback. I have never thought of myself as a big girl. I workout (did, anyway), eat right (still do for the most part), and keep active. It stopped me in my tracks when she said that. And I realized how much weight I have gained and how fat I really am. And wow, am I one not happy camper about this. I have been wallowing and in my wallowing have not been going to the gym and have been indulging in foods that I would normally only consider a weekend treat.

That 20 pounds that I wanted to lose 2 months ago (or whenever it was I posted my to do list) is now 25 pounds. And while, yeah, it's only 5 pounds, it's five pounds when I already needed to lose alot more than 5 pounds.

The gloves are off, bitches and it's on.

I am starting walking at lunch TODAY, not tomorrow, TODAY.

I am firing up the Wii TODAY, not tomorrow, TODAY.

I am eating right.

I am not drinking Dr. Pepper whenever I want.

I am getting active again and taking my life back.

I do not want to be a big girl (if you're a big girl and don't care, then that's fine for you, not me).

I am joining a new gym this week.

I will lose this weight.

I will get fit.

I will not be a big girl.

I will be me again and that is what really matters.